I suck at change

I can sometimes predict it, I can see it coming, I can understand it, I can ask for it, but truthfully, I really just suck at change.

My job is sending me new places and to do new things that should be exciting, but for some reason I push against it, and sometimes I can't understand this stubborn reaction. I really think it might be the change factor. It means I will be doing something new, something adventurous, but I push against it.

My roommate said she's moving out in 6 months when our lease is up. I saw it coming and it makes total sense, but it scares the crap out of me. It means I have to decide if I'm going to live alone or take my chances with a new roommate (I totally lucked out with my current one, what are the odds I find another normal human being in NYC to live with me? Pretty low, I think). Though it is 6 months away and it's probably not a big deal, I can't stop thinking about it. I am already predicting that it will keep me up tonight.

Part of me feels like everything was status quo for so long, and now things have to change, but maybe I'm being left behind because I'm not adapting to the changes. How do I fix that? I start each day at work with a smile, even if I'm nervous or angry, because I'm hoping today will be better than yesterday. Should I stay in my current apartment and find a new roommate or try to live on my own? CAN I live on my own?